I Was Right!

Carol and I were on a nice tour of the New England fall colors.  One stop was the Green Mountain Girls Farm.  It was a small (20 acres), alternative, organic farm that used the droppings of sheep, goats, pigs and chicken for fertilizer.  After arriving on the bus with 44 of our closest friends, we were asked to form two lines to make a cordon.  They would then release the sheep into one of the fields using us to channel them through the gate and into the field.  We were all novices at being shepherds and guiding sheep, and immediately the sheep decided not to cooperate.  Clearly these were not the sheep in Jesus’ parables.  They were disobedient, stubborn and did not listen to the shepherd’s voice.  If one was lost, I’m not sure I would spend any time to find it.  That might even be true for the whole flock.  But I digress.

As the real shepherds fought to redirect the sheep toward the gate to the field, the sheep began to cooperate and started funneling toward the gate.  At that moment, Joe (not his real name) steps out of the cordon and stands directly in front of the line of sheep to get the perfect photo.  He is large and imposing, and the sheep veered away from him and toward the wrong field.  The shepherds asked him to move out of the way.  He didn’t hear them.  So, then I asked him to move out of the way (twice).  Or was it three times?  Not important.  What is important was his response.  He got angry and stomped off.  “Sheep will go where they want.  I wasn’t stopping them!”  Of course, inside I wanted to impress on him how wrong he was for blocking their path and ruining the experience for the rest of us. And how right I was to inform him of it.  But he was still angry and moving on to the next field, so I would confront him later.

While walking to the next field and imagining what I would say to him when I saw him again, I felt my stomach begin to knot.  We are at day two of a nine day tour.  I can’t avoid him for seven more days.  I was conflicted.  What will I do when I see him again.  On the other hand, I was right and he was wrong!  Matthew 18 and the parables don’t apply in this case because, after all, I was right! 

Nonetheless, on the walk to the next field, my stomach was still clenched.  Although I knew in my heart I was right, and I did nothing wrong, I didn’t “feel” right.  The scriptures started going through my head and my heart again.  “Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”  (Eph. 4:26)  The whole experience rode heavily on my heart.  I could see how this episode could easily ruin a nice trip.  So, I decided to take the high road and apologize.  I would show him!  I would take the altruistic, selfless, self-righteous course of action.  I would apologize and show him how kind, loving and superior a person I am.  I would take the initiative to smooth things over. 

In the next field, I walked along side him and said, “I wanted to apolo---.”  He interrupted me and I didn’t even get the word “apologize” out.  He said, “I’m sorry too.  I know I was in the way.”  He shook my hand, and all was well.  It was as though it never happened.  I was humbled by his words and a little ashamed of my attitude.  But mostly I was glad that I had the knot in my stomach and that I didn’t “feel” right, even though I was right.  And that Matthew 18 and the parables really do apply in showing love and forgiveness to those that are wrong.